An Episodic Chronicle: A Girl and a Boy and the Determination of Pigs

Day One: June 2, 2022

After months of brainstorming with Suze and weeks of building an enclosure, Gordon picked up the first pig for their small farm in central Arizona in early June. A local farmer made them a sweet deal on a mated pair of Kunekune pigs, the female of which is expecting bundles of joy in August. In exchange for a remarkably low price, the seller insisted Gordon help catch the pigs and bring his own transport.

Fine, said Gordon. This city boy is learning the ways of the farming life; I can do that. Wilbur, smelling “city,” was determined to have the last laugh. Gordon was forced to admit that the hairy, chunky, mottled boar was charming in his way, but Gordon’s resolve was pure steel.

Their initial meeting forced Gordon to draw on his martial-arts skills – something involving the hips – to corral Wilbur, who didn’t go down easily. A football tackle, remembered from a brief stint in early high school, seemed like the next good idea. Eyewitnesses reported seeing Gordon “ride the pig” as Wilbur resisted capture time after time.

But human determination triumphed – this time -- and Wilbur rode to his new home in the bed of Suze’s gleaming white Toyota Tacoma. Farm dogs Scoundrel and Choki barked out a skeptical welcome, then proceeded to harass Wilbur from behind the secure fencing of their downstairs kennel.

Wilbur snorfed around in his pen, acclimating to his new surroundings. Things got interesting when he deposited all 175 pounds of his majestic being into his watering trough. (Water is scarce in central Arizona in this year of record drought, and Gordon and Suze had not consented to Wilbur’s turning his drinking water into a wallow.) Gordon initially triumphed in this battle of wits. Or so he thought.

Lights out; Gordon resolved to get up early and head to the other farm to complete the capture and purchase of Mrs. Wilbur.